#2: SCCO / East-Coasting!

Second interview - easier on my nerves, but still hard! I had answers for every question, but who knows if that is enough, hehe? Anyway, Dday: Monday! I LOVE the SCCO campus--it's small, but it feels like an optometry school. It also feels like a college town because CSU Fullerton is directly across the street. Loved the library, the gym, the CLINIC, and the people.

But now, I'm here in Boston! And although I haven't seen the optometry school yet, I am LOVING the city of Boston! Chris took me to Quincy Market and North End this evening--absolutely loved it, except for the random downpour on our way to Little Italy. The view from my hotel room is also amazing. Chris mentioned that Boston is considered a "small" city. You can basically walk anywhere, which I definitely believe. I was telling him that I secretly want to be accepted to this school, because then I wouldn't need a car. But we'll see when Monday comes around.

Tomorrow: Cambridge, Newbury Street, MIT, Harvard, Fenway Park, and Northeastern!

Jay Sean's "Lights Off" has been replaying on my laptop since this afternoon. I find the lyrics frighteningly striking every emotion inside of me. I really can't see what's going on in my life. I'm walking on a lonely street and nobody is next to me and nobody is coming towards me. It's lonely. The one person I thought would be walking right beside me, has decided to let worldly pressures get the best of him. He has decided to keep walking on this in-between path, that he himself cannot define.

I understand that there is a big obstacle to cross and I pray to God I have the patience to stick with him through it. But, I cannot bring myself to trust him anymore. He intentionally tried to push me away. He was without compassion in those moments; didn't think about how much the other end has to take for him to find his way. I WISH I could tell him that I trust his thoughts and actions, but deep down, I don't trust him right now. I can't bring myself to put the trust that I had before, in him now. I can't.

I came back for to tell him how I felt and to get answers. I hope I get them. I hope I don't get some sugar-coated conversation that does nothing but hide the truth. I want honesty, in its rawest form. I want him to know that, he needs to make decisions, about us and about his life.

In high school, I was told "If you do not know how to attack a problem, just do something. Take a step. If it's wrong, go back and change it. That's the key to solving a problem." And I've taken that with me throughout my life. I have made mistakes, tons of mistakes. But I learn to keep going, to change my life for the better. It's never easy, but you need to take that first step. Step up and make a rational decision, based on what you want or what is necessary for your life to become better.